I'm writing this as I sit peacefully listening to The Beatles and the sound of the washing machine :) Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day and I'm enjoying a (very productive) day off.
I realize that I'm quite late on the resolution bandwagon. Let me tell you why-This turn of the year was actually really, and strangely, difficult for me. I feel like it's a time to reflect on the past year and think about how or what you'd like to improve upon in the upcoming 365 days. The more I thought about it, the more it consumed me. I became dissapointed with the year I'd had, and I wanted to change everything about myself...My resolution list grew every day and I was feeling like a terrible person. I wanted to change so much and felt like I had accomplished nothing in 2013. It actually got me really down; I had a panic attack and was feeling nervous, anxious and a little depressed. And trust me, this is NOT how I normally am!! I am usually very happy, perky and fun :) I know this is NOT what resolutions are about, but it's just something that was going on for me at the time.
I quickly realized that this was not the way to approach 2014. I didn't want to start off the year on a negative note, so I stopped thinking about resolutions. While out with my fiance for my birthday dinner, I told him about how I'd been feeling and what was actually going on (he of course had noticed my mood). We decided that we are going to make 2014 FUN! FUN FOURTEEN! I stopped worrying about resolutions and started to shift my thinking from negative to positive. Stopped thinking about what I wanted to change, and started to think about what I want to enhance; the good things I want more of this year.
Today, while cleaning the kitchen sink (inspiration always strikes at the strangest times, am I right?) I decided on my "resolutions" for this year:
I know this is burger extra cheese, but I feel like it really encompasses everything I want 2014 to be about.
- Eat Right: It's obvious, I want to get healthy, lose weight and eat better in 2014. But that's not what this says. It says "eat right." I want to do what I know is right and best for my body, and for my health, for health's sake, not to lose weight or be a certain size. I want to eat and live healthy, to do what's RIGHT for ME. I want to stop comparing myself and my life to others, and simply live right by myself. I want to be healthy in body and spirit.
- Don't Fight: This goes beyond not fighting with others, but deeper, and into myself. I want to stop fighting internally, stop being so hard on myself, stop putting myself down. I want to stop fighting with myself to be a certain way, or like certain things. This "resolution" is about accepting myself the way I am, and not fighting myself into a certain life. It's about saying the things I want to say, doing the things I want to do, and being the person I want to be. It's about leaving work when I feel I've done my very best for the day, expressing how I really feel, and not forcing myself. I of course also want to live a peacefully life in 2014-to not fight with others but to spread love and acceptance. I want to always assume good will and accept others the way they are as well. But mostly, this is about not fighting what feels right.
- Sleep Tight: Relax. Be calm. And also, be proud. I want to be able to be done for the day when I am done for the day. No work emails on the weekends. I want to accept that I've worked hard and be proud of what I've accomplished. This is about "turning off" when it's time. Taking time to be still and calm and peaceful. Live in the moment. Get rest, feel good. Beyond just getting a good night's sleep, it's about not worrying as much. I want to spend time relaxing with family and friends, and with myself. Enjoying a spa night at home once in a while, or reading a good book in bed. More music. I want to take time for me, and more importantly, to feel like I deserve it. We all do. :)
I now feel so very positive about the year to come. There is so much too look forward to, and I can't wait to experience it! I am so blessed-the picture above is of a sunset I got to watch with my parents on a recent weekend trip to Florida. I will soon have a new nephew, and maybe another later this year. I am surrounded by good, supportive people-friends, family, coworkers. I owe it to them to be and do my very best. And I fully intend to.
Happy 2014!! It's going to be a GREAT year :)